HMS Yarmouth   F101





Friday 6th & Saturday 7th July  2012

HM Ships Yarmouth and Danae Commemorate 30 years since the end of the Falklands Conflict



Wow where to start - I suppose it was long before we all arrived and me being later than most landing at around 1540 on the Friday, I say before because despite the feeble attempts by Edinburgh's new Tram System's to create grand canyons between pavements, we had the benefits of a matelot's tenacious instincts to reach the bar at all cost, a few JCB's and several tons of chewed up concrete would deter not one of us.
FRIDAY DTS - some arrived early enough to make a start at the ROSEBURN BAR and although the first arrivals felt a bit lonely they were quickly joined by other members of both crews, whereupon several gallons on fine Ale began to take a downward passage to some very large areas near the belt trouser line of some, for others the Ale itself got lonely in vast areas of belly space which would eventually start to fill albeit many gallons would be needed. It was soon decided to retire to the SCOTS GUARDS ASSOCIATION CLUB to continue with the mass slaughter of yet more Ale and to gently caress the throats with Rums and Whisky along with other Spirits willing to be sacrificed. The reason for the sudden change of venue was non other than the Ale could be slaughtered at a lesser cost thereby ensuing greater carnage for a smaller financial outlay. Its amazing how Jacks instincts never leave the sole.
FRIDAY EVENING - The Persistent Rain and the Grand Canyons made it hard going but again it did nor deter nor effect navigation and all that intended reached the evening venue of THE STANDING ORDER. The slaughter of the Ale began in earnest and the onslaught was chilling, the Ale, Rum, Whiskey and their oppo's didn't stand a chance, it was a sight to behold, the only draw back was that food was not available on the night within the premises so the few that needed a nose bag were force to seek sustenance at houses nearby. I myself murdered steak that was rare enough to be almost still breathing.......... The evening in the bar continued and many old friends met up for the first time in many a year, the number of years preferred to be forgotten for fear of showing age, others met up with regular friends having met more frequently over the years, some made new friends and friendships that will no doubt flourish over coming years, and some of us are "billy no mates" and I was left talking to the misses all night :-) ..........
SATURDAY DTS & LOUD SHIRT- well well well what can one say poor poor Colin Townsend he was going to win hands down and to be fair my money was on you Colin honest (yeah right), a totally impartial judge (not the manager of Colin's Local) was unsuspectingly pulled from her half eat plate of scran by the awesomely indutiful George Hubbard, and this somewhat bewildered young lady made a Sterling choice and picked Graham Matheson as the winner and now reigning champion of Loud Shirts. I was a bit put out as I was chatting to someone else's wife and missed it so its me "billy no mates" again, and I reckon I could have won, the contest was the event of the afternoon but it did not deter yet another slaughter of Ale, the only snag here is that I personally do not like neither Lager nor Real Ales so I had to graciously sip a glass of a favoured tipple of the West Country from a somewhat distinctive stemmed glass and when passing though a well inebriated group of haggis crunchers who asked politely "What's that ye drinking Ray?"I simply answered cider! which was met with a laughing roar of a terrible Scottish Janner accent of CIDER! the afternoon continued till well passed a reasonable hour and it became time once again to retire and the HAYMARKET BAR was left in peace .........
SATURDAY EVENING AND THE MAIN EVENT - Now this night was totally unfair as the slaughter of Ale, Rum, Whiskey there oppo's and now Wines just continued unabated it was a total massacre a sight so macabre it turned stomachs especially the one that left its contents in the small loo next to the door by the bar. The venue in fairness turned out to be inadequate for the numbers this year, but nevertheless in true matelot style everyone just got on with it and very few dripped about it, although it was rather warm and ties and jackets came off slightly earlier than usual........ The Disco, which I thought were a double for Pinky & Perky, but Rick Irvine was quick to point out that they looked like something out of "Deliverance" ... how apt that was, if they started playing "Duelling Banjo's" I would have had heart failure. The entertainment was rescued by HMS Yarmouth's very own TOM SMITH who gave an outstanding and very much appreciated display of several tunes on his Bag Pipes. Thank you Tom everyone in the room enjoyed that. Raffle tickets were being sold whilst the theme from Deliverance continued, the food was brought out and enough said about that. The raffle for all sorts of liquid prizes donated by members of both crews, you all know who you are and my thanks goes to each of you, George H as usual made an exceptional job of calling forward winners and getting them all prized up, the liquid raffle was followed by a raffle with more substantial prizes in the form of two in number Touch Screen Kindles (prizes as suggested by George). The first was won by Jesse Yates of HMS Danae and the second by my Wife Julia (who I haven't seen that excited in a long time ....... yes even then). A short break from the fun whilst the two Muppets performed again, until a welcomed interruption by an Auction of more Liquid in the form of an Extremely Elegant boxed bottle of Whiskey (Sid Elphick 60 Danae) a 15 year old Bottle of Pusser's Rum (Ray Lester 100) and a Vintage bottle of Port (Buck Rodgers 130 Danae)................ by now the slaughter was just unstoppable and there were empty vessels strewn all around the room, a vessel would survive just a few short moments before being grabbed in a crushing grip that would only be realised once the contents had been consumed it was just pure blood thirstiness. The party was in full flow and God only knows what the two were doing now, but dancing and laughter was plentiful at some point and amongst it all Tom and his bag Pipes were on the floor again, although I 'm not sure at that stage who was blowing who, but again it was very much appreciated and the dancing and laughter seemed to just go on and on until at all came to an end at 0030 when the bar just closed and the someone must have shot Pinky and Perky as they just disappeared.
SUNDAY MORNING - By now the slaughter had ceased and all were repenting for the pain they had caused just hours before - Breakfast at the Scots Guards Hotel several were there and several hundred 's of proceeds from the night before were counted and sorted and to make up the odd figures George had another smally whip round from those present making another 30.60p..... so thank you to Ian Thomas, Bomber Wells, Bill Harris, Trev Roberts and Colin Cameron for the 30 and lets not forget Graham Matheson for the 60p.



The Friday Evening
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The Saturday DTS
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The Saturday Evening
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'Rex et jura nostra'  'Our King and Laws'    1959 - 1986


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Last modified: Monday July 09, 2012 21:12